Many first homes are shared with friends. As you graduate from college or move from your parent’s house, it makes sense to pool your resources and go in with others on an apartment and its contents.
While shopping around and setting up a cozy living space is fun, splitting up a shared home can become contentious when you go your separate ways. Animosity can grow even deeper if this pertains to a romantic relationship (and the plan was to be together forever).
But this doesn’t have to be a stressful situation. You can make a plan going in or respectfully tackle the problem head-on if you’re already in the midst of a separation. With clear communication, this can be a peaceful process.
Set Everyone Up for Success Before Moving
The best thing you can do is plan ahead. If you’re setting up an apartment with roommates, the assumption is usually that you won’t be living together forever, and eventually, you will all move into your own homes. So go into furnishing your place with that mindset.
Maybe you each pay for different large items in the home with the agreement that when one of you inevitably moves out, that piece is yours to take. This is particularly good for roommates who have different budgets, and everyone shops with their tastes and finances in mind.
Another way to set everyone up for success is to find a budget for an item, and each person pays an equal amount. Then, if one person moves out and the other stays, they can pay back their half. Some people subtract an agreed-upon “usage charge” for the years they lived together.
Most importantly, put it in writing together. While what you conjure up doesn’t need to be a legal document, it will keep someone from conveniently “forgetting” what you both agreed to if you live together for a while.
And while it might not seem romantic, this advice stands for couples moving in together, too. Hopefully, you’ll have your happily ever after, but if you don’t, you won’t have to spend time debating over the furniture when you want to move on.
How to Delegate If You’ve Already Moved in Together
However, if you’ve already lived together for a while, it may be too late to take the advice above. Schedule a time to sit down with your roommate and review your items when you’re not rushed or stressed. This will allow everyone to be calm and clear-headed.
If you’re both moving out, you might want to take turns picking shared items and placing a post-it with your name on it. That way, everyone can assess what’s most important to them and get an equal say in what they keep.
It’s trickier if one roommate is moving out and the other is staying, especially if one is moving far away and may not want to take things like a couch. Reach a financial solution where the roommate staying “buys out” the share of the roommate leaving.
But it’s important to be realistic. If you’ve lived with someone for a while, insisting they pay half the original cost of the sofa for something you’ve both used for over half a decade might not go over well. One way to determine the current value of your furniture is to look at resale sites like Facebook Marketplace for similar items. If the roommate staying cannot pay for the other half of the items in the home (or doesn’t want them), you can instead agree on items to sell.
It’s important to remember that relationships are more important than objects, so it may be better to let small things go rather than fight over your thrifted set of vintage coupe glasses.
