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Do you constantly feel out of your depth? Do you fell that you’re a fake or a fraud to have got to where you are in life?
If so, you could have imposter syndrome.
Imposter syndrome is a mental state and way of thinking that means you doubt your abilities and worth, leading to a persistent fear that you’ll be exposed as a fraud, explains psychotherapist Jess Henley, author of the new book Find Your Path Through Imposter Syndrome.
She says it can affect people in all sorts of scenarios, from their job and playing sport, to looking after their children or even just having a conversation about a particular topic.
“The overwhelming feeling is that you’re out of your depth, that others must know it and that you’re going to be held accountable and ridiculed,” she explains.
“For many, it’s a passing feeling that doesn’t hold much gravitas after a bit of thoughtful self-reflection. But for others it can haunt them day and night and seriously undermine their self-esteem and self-confidence.”
She says it’s a very common problem, and points out: “The term imposter syndrome has become a lot more mainstream, so a lot more people will now recognise that’s what’s going on. But there will be people having feelings that they’re not good enough, or they’re a fraud or fake, and they might not understand that’s imposter syndrome.
“It comes down to your belief system about yourself, your core belief.”
Henley says the fear of being ‘found out’ can be the basis of many mental health issues, including anxiety, depression, perfectionism, loneliness and burnout, and it’s therefore crucial that people who realise they have imposter syndrome tackle it in order to stop it having a negative effect on their life.
“A lot of people suffer from high levels of anxiety with imposter syndrome,” she explains. “They often don’t understand that the origin of their anxiety is the syndrome.”
And the anxiety can have physical symptoms, she says, like a racing heart, feeling panicky, shortness of breath and sweating, as well as insomnia, brain fog, and burnout.
In addition to anxiety, someone with imposter syndrome may feel depressed, and Henley explains: “There’s a lot of negative self-talk that comes with imposter syndrome, and that often leads to feelings of depression. It can also lead to loneliness, because when you suffer from imposter syndrome you can try to hide who you are as a person because you don’t really think you’re good enough, you don’t think you’re able to do what you’re doing or you shouldn’t be there, so you shy yourself away and you self-inflict loneliness.
“Even if you’re surrounded by people, you can still feel lonely because you’re not showing who you are as a person to the world.”
Another possible effect is perfectionism – constantly striving to be perfect, which Henley says is usually not attainable. “You’re never going to achieve it. So then you’re constantly failing, which is reinforcing this belief that you’re not good enough because you can’t match this perfect target you’ve given yourself.”
Henley points out that while most people have experienced a temporary ‘out of my depth’, nervous feeling at some point in their lives, perhaps when they start a new job or join a new sports team, these are natural feelings that will usually be shaken off when you settle in to your job or score for your new team.
“Anyone can feel nervous about anything really – if you’ve got an interview, or a presentation at work, or for some parents going to the school gates can be quite intimidating, things like that,” says Henley. “But the thing about imposter syndrome is that deep-down belief system in yourself.
“So if you’re feeling nervous about something, when you strip away that nervousness and get down to your core, you know you’re capable, whereas the imposter doesn’t.
“The imposter thinks they’re not capable, that they fluked their way to their successes, or they’ve acted fraudulent towards the people around them. It doesn’t matter if you’ve got all the academic achievements, if you’ve succeeded in all your interviews. If everything factual on paper proves you’re capable of being where you are and you’re good enough, their underlying core belief is still that they’re not.
“Whereas the person who’s nervous – because we all get nervous, that’s just the state of being human – can still have a very solid sense of self and feel nervous.”
Henley says the cause is different for everyone, but a lot of the problem stems from negative self-belief. She explains: “It’s a lack of self-confidence and self-belief, and the thing about beliefs is that they’re not at all based on facts. There’s no evidence to prove they’re right, which, in a way, is one of the best things about them – because if they’re not based on facts, you can change them.
“But of course a belief is something you’ve probably held on to for a really long time. It can be difficult to challenge those, so that’s what you need to do.”
The key to dealing with imposter syndrome is tackling negative self-belief, and Henley outlines many helpful exercises in her book, including mindfulness and tapping.
She says: “One of the key things about imposter syndrome is it doesn’t live in the present. It lives in the future or in the past – it’s like ‘I wasn’t good enough’, or ‘What if they find me out?’
“None of it is actually facing the here and in the now.”
This is why mindfulness techniques can be very useful, she says, as they can help you calm it down in the present. “Because in the present, the chances are you’re OK, because we’ve got to remember that people suffering from imposter syndrome are very capable people.
“There’s no evidence they can’t do stuff, that’s just what they’re believing about themselves. But the actual evidence shows they can do it, and they’re very capable and can be extremely successful.”
To challenge negative self-belief, Henley says people with imposter syndrome need to try and understand where their beliefs originated. “And then once you begin to understand that, you can start to challenge them. And hopefully you can override them and realise they’re not true, and slowly start to overcome those beliefs.”
She says people can get help through books or therapy if their imposter syndrome is particularly bad, and adds: “You don’t have to put up with it. You can tackle it and you can reduce it significantly. So if it’s something that’s debilitating, I’d really encourage you to try and do something about it, because it doesn’t have to be part of your daily existence.”
