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A mother who endured the heartbreak of losing seven babies over seven years has shared her story of resilience and hope, offering solace to others facing similar tragedies.
Carmen Grover, a 33-year-old registered nurse from Ontario, navigated a devastating journey of pregnancy loss before welcoming her four surviving children.
Her first son, Case, arrived in December 2017, followed by daughter Maelie in April 2019. However, these joys were interspersed with profound sorrow. Among the losses was baby Jude, born in August 2020, so tiny that doll’s clothes fit him perfectly.
Despite the repeated heartbreak, Carmen and her husband Phillip, a 34-year-old HVAC mechanic, persevered.
Doctors could not give the couple a reason for their continued loss.
After their third child, daughter Ayda’s birth in July 2021, Carmen faced a seventh loss, yet her determination remained unshaken. She resolved to “try one more time,” a decision that culminated in the arrival of Charlotte in February 2024.
To cope with the emotional turmoil, Carmen penned heartfelt letters to each of the babies she lost between January 2016 and January 2023.
These poignant letters have now been compiled into a book, offering a beacon of hope and comfort to others navigating the storm of pregnancy loss.
“Our story is a story of hope,” she said.
“I lost faith many times, but there was always something that kept me bound and determined.
“Truthfully, I don’t think I ever lost hope, my hope just shifted, and when my babies would die, I would think, ‘I hope to see them again, I hope to leave a legacy for them’.”
She gave birth to their daughter, Ayda, in July 2021, who was a “miracle”, but had her seventh loss afterwards in January 2023.
At this point, she said: “That was the moment when it was like, ‘What is the purpose of all this?’
“It all came to a head, and I thought, ‘How do I help my friends and family understand our story?’”
This led Carmen to compile the letters she had written to each baby, and she released her first book, A Diary for My Babies: Journeying through Pregnancy Loss, in February 2023 to “honour” them.
Carmen said doctors have never been able to explain why she experienced so many losses, so she questioned: “Why me? What have I done so wrong to deserve this?”
However, she said her baby losses have made her realise that she was “meant to be a voice” so others “don’t suffer in silence” or feel alone in their losses, and she feels incredibly lucky to have four children now.
“None of us have a crystal ball, and if I knew that this was the life I was going to have, I still would have done all of this,” she said.
“But if Case hadn’t survived, I don’t know that I would have tried again and that’s a really hard thing to say because that would have meant no children, and I have four living children now.”
Although she understands that there are differing opinions when it comes to pregnancy and loss, Carmen hopes her story helps others and creates a “ripple effect” of conversation and hope.
She continued: “Through it all, the rainbow does keep appearing throughout our lives and it shows up in ways that maybe we didn’t expect.
“That’s what a rainbow is. It’s that comfort amidst the storm.
“Today, our seven losses form the seven colours of the rainbow arched over our family, holding us.”
