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In a recent post shared to the popular “Am I The A**hole?” Reddit forum, one person asked if they were wrong for skipping their sister’s nuptials because of “poor guest accommodations.”
“My sister wants everyone to go to Florida so they can get married on a cruise ship, then go on a cruise with folks that are willing to the following day,” the Reddit user explained. “As someone who is unable to cruise and who hates all travel, this is extremely problematic for me.”
They shared that the first issue is that the wedding is on a Monday, so they’d have to take time off work. The next problem was the cost of attending the cruise wedding, with the bride’s sibling expected to pay $500 for a plane ticket and additional money for a hotel.
The bride’s sibling also explained that they are autistic and “eat a strict diet at very strict times,” which would be difficult for them to follow on the cruise ship.
“I have been informed that the cruise ship will not allow me to bring any homemade food onboard and I will only be able to select food from a small menu which does not meet my needs,” they wrote.
They concluded the post by criticizing their sister for the unusual wedding setting. “If she valued the rest of us being there, she would have it in the state we all live,” they wrote.
The Reddit post quickly gained traction, with more than 1,500 upvotes. In the comments, multiple people defended the bride’s sibling for skipping the wedding, especially since it’s not in their hometown.
“Anytime someone has a destination wedding, it’s okay for even immediate family not to come. Those are the rules,” one wrote. “The moment literally every single person included needs to travel, and has no options to stay at families homes or anything like that. Then you can’t get mad if people can’t make it to your wedding. The only exception to this rule is if the bride and groom are paying for people to either travel, or to have a place to stay.”
“Even if the bride and groom offer to pay it’s still ok to say no. Financial costs are only part of it. Taking time off work is also a big reason to decline,” another wrote.
“It’s an invitation, not a demand to appear. You can tell her it’s just out of your budget/ability to get time off work,” a third agreed. “I know she’s your sister but throwing a destination wedding like this she has to expect that a lot of people won’t be able to be there.”
